As summer heats up, you might be considering other ways to heat things up! There are many options to give your libido more fire, as well as improve your overall health. Some may involve internal evaluation and adjustment, as well as external. We’re here to guide you through a few ideas that may benefit you!
If you are experiencing an unusual change in your sex drive, it’s a good idea to first rule out possible underlying medical or emotional causes. Consult with your doctor, as well as consider exploring further with a trusted personal or relationship counselor.
Whether you’re experiencing a mild period of low libido compared to your usual baseline, or you’d just like to get a bit more pep in your sexy step, keep in mind that this is all about how you are feeling. Partnered or single, any reason you might have for exploring how to boost your excitement and desire is completely valid and celebration-worthy. Much of what enables us to feel fun and frisky is tied into our emotional wellbeing as much as our physical, so we’ve covered both in our tips below!
1. Know thyself
Examine what makes you feel sexy; everyone is different, and some are more comfortable tapping into their desires and exploring them than others. However, it’s important to look at the times when you felt good about yourself and experienced pleasure and desire. What is the common denominator in those experiences? Likewise, was there something present that is currently missing from your life? Ruminating on past play, being aware of what makes you feel good, and sharing some of your fun memories with a partner in an intimate moment can be a great way to start building new ones.
2. Showing up in your relationship with yourself
Expressing your confidence and sexuality is integrally tied into your relationship with yourself. Just as you wouldn’t expect a partner to be at their best if they weren’t feeling secure, it can mentally impact your arousal in intimate moments (as well as other aspects of your life) if you don’t feel valued by yourself. Offering yourself self-care is an important part of nurturing this internal relationship, as are less glamorous practices like setting appropriate boundaries in your life. Making sure your body is physically nourished is also vitally important. When you prioritize yourself in concrete ways, you allow your inner self to feel cherished.
3. Positive body image
If you’re not feeling celebratory about the body you inhabit, you may not be too keen for uninhibited play or allowing your partner to see your body, without self-criticism interfering with your fun. There’s no one-size-fits-all way to improve body image; you may wish to spend some time examining what’s causing any negative feelings. In some cases, implementing a fitness routine can help improve the way you feel about your physical form, but it may be more about how you see yourself than about your actual body. Spend some time in the mirror just appreciating your body and enjoying the way you look. Pay attention to any negative voices that arise in your mind and allow yourself to dissent with any self-criticism, instead offering yourself loving kindness and care.
4. Reduce mental load
External stress can mess with your libido. It’s not always possible to cut all stress out of our lives just to get busy in the bedroom, but if you can schedule some distraction-free time, that can be very helpful for prioritizjng intimacy. Put your phone on silent, make sure any chores are done well beforehand, drop the kids with a family member if possible, and maybe even take a minute to do some breathing exercises. Setting the mood with candles and music might be a bit of a cliché, but it can signal to both you and your partner that the outside world can wait. Creating an intention to be present without intrusions can help you give in to the moment.
Participating in moderate exercise can help strengthen circulation, as well as release mood-boosting endorphins and improve your self-image. All these benefits and more directly correlate to improving libido and sexual pleasure. You don’t need to look a certain way or have a stringent exercise regime to enjoy sex, but making sure that your body is well-maintained can help you feel confident with the physical aspect of sexuality.
6. Get some rest
If you haven’t been prioritizing your sleep and rest, this can also have a negative impact on libido. Easier said than done, we know, but getting a full 8 - 10 hours of rest nightly will have a favorable impact on your overall wellbeing, including your ability to feel aroused and present. Insufficient rest impacts your nervous system, as well as your decision-making and emotional state. It’s pretty hard to think about giving and getting some pleasure at bedtime when you’re exhausted and sleep is more tempting than play!
There are many beneficial herbs and nutrients that can help you feel spicy. There is some evidence that foods rich in zinc can help increase testosterone, which can in turn benefit sex drive, including in women. Various botanical adaptogens have been shown to have libido-boosting properties; tribulus, maca, and ginseng, for example, are all popular options for supporting libido. Opting for a supplement that is specifically formulated to benefit sex drive with multiple ingredients working in harmony, is a great way to achieve maximum results with minimal effort, instead of trying to incorporate multiple options separately.