A sudden reduction in libido is much more common in both men and women than you may think. A lot of things can alter your sex drive, from illness to hormone imbalances. But, what you may not realize is that your day-to-day life may be having the biggest impact on your sexual desires.
Doctors are finding that drops in libido in your 30s are often caused by life factors rather than medical problems. From your family to your career, the stress from juggling many things at once may be causing more problems than you realize.
Work, family and home—oh my!
For many people, there comes a point in your life where you’re trying to take on too many things at once. Climbing the career ladder, getting married, raising a family, maintaining a social life and somehow finding time for yourself can take a toll on just about anyone.
Juggling all of these things can lead to exhaustion, a lack of time and a lot of stress—three things that can significantly affect your libido.
After a long day of working, preparing meals for children, taking care of pets and dealing with personal, financial and career stress, it’s not uncommon to feel emotionally and physically drained. If you’re exhausted, you’re probably not super interested in having sex.
Stress, too, is a huge factor in maintaining libido. In fact, it can alter your sex drive in many ways.
When you’re stressed, your body begins producing ample amounts of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. Too much of this hormone can affect your entire body, including hampering your libido.
For women, stress and increased cortisol levels are known to disrupt your menstrual cycle, elongating it or preventing it from occurring entirely. This can alter your other hormone levels and your mental health, keeping you out of the mood.
Chronic stress is also known to lead to mood disorders like anxiety and depression. Because a lot of libido is mental, these problems are known to cause the libido to drop.
Finally, when all these things—stress, family, pets, careers and more—are stuck on your mind all day, it can be very difficult to “shut them off” and focus on what you want to be doing—getting intimate with your partner! So much of a healthy sex life relies on being in a good headspace, and, unfortunately, even young men and women are finding it difficult to maintain the balance.
The trouble with libido troubles
Experiencing a decrease in your sex drive due to stress and exhaustion can be extremely frustrating on a personal level. Not only that, but it can cause increased tensions between you and your partner. All of this can ultimately lead to additional stress, causing a vicious cycle of chronic stress and low libido.
What’s even worse is the fact that sex is known to be a natural form of stress relief! During intimacy, your body releases hormones that fight stress, help you relax and help you feel even closer to your partner. With a low libido, you won’t even want to do the thing that could help you de-stress.
Fortunately, once you discover the underlying issue that is leading to your lowered libido, it can be much easier to fix the problem.
Reducing stress to improve libido
When you live a very busy life, it can be very hard to find time to relax and do things for yourself. However, these things are crucial in reducing stress and improving your sex drive.
If your libido is suffering, take a look at what you have going on day to day and try to determine whether that could be causing problems for you. Identify ways you can cut back on your commitments and stress. If possible, try to block off time throughout your week for alone time and time with just your partner.
Also, consider the “traditional” ways of relieving stress. Exercise is a huge factor, since working out releases hormones that reduce cortisol and make you feel good. Sleeping more regularly and making time for hobbies that bring you joy are also good ways to help you feel better every day.
Finally, have conversations with your partner about your sex life and discuss the things that may be standing in the way of it. Try to find solutions that excite you both, such as a regular getaway weekend, romantic time for just you two, massages and other activities that bring you together. Discussing your libido problems with a doctor or sex therapist may also help you find solutions.
By identifying ways your busy life is impeding on your sex life, you may be able to resolve your lowered libido quickly and get back to enjoying those romantic moments.